NEW BOOK CLAIMS PALIN IS CHENEY IN DRAG

Satire by R J Shulman
ILLIUM, New York - (PTSD News) - A new book claims that the Sarah Palin is nothing more than Vice President [sic] Dick Cheney all dolled up for the cameras. Scott V. DeLuca, author of Area 51 Is not in Nevada, It is Really Washington, D.C., has just released The Wasilla Candidate: How Cheney Plans To Pass Himself Off As Sarah Palin.

DeLuca claims that the real Sara Palin has been hidden in an underground bunker near Bethel, Alaska, ever since her vice presidential nomination and that Dick Cheney has been masquerading as a "phony Sarah."

"It is amazing what you can do with makeup, plastic surgery and smoke and mirrors," DeLuca said. "Has anyone seen Cheney and Palin in the same room?"

"When Palin asked the crowd at the Republican convention the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull, it should have been, 'What is the difference between this hockey mom and Dick Cheney?' And the answer, of course, would be lipstick."

“The deeply held beliefs and the political views of Cheney and this new Palin are exactly the same - drilling, killing, hating Russia and shooting anyone in the face who gets in their way," DeLuca says. "I have a comment from a recently fired Alaska State Trooper who quotes Palin as saying that the caribou she shot was "in its final throes."

"Now who does that sound like?" asked DeLuca. "This is just like "Tootsie," "Mrs. Doubtfire," and "The Bird Cage" all rolled into one," DeLuca said. "But this female impersonator is more like 'Dr. Evil.'"

The book contends that Dick Cheney idolized J. Edgar Hoover and always dreamed that he could look better in a dress than the former FBI chief. "We know those glasses Palin wears are fake and have no lenses," DeLuca claims, "Why do you think 'she' doesn't hold her son, Trig but passes him around to her family like a sack of potatoes? Cheney hates babies, at least once they are born."

"You didn't expect Dick Cheney to ride off into some romantic Wyoming sunset, did you?" the book asks. When asked about the book, Palin said she had not seen it, that it was preposterous and that as Vice President, it would be the first book she would ban after she went on a hunting trip with DeLuca.

21 September 2008

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