BUSH FINDS OBSCURE LAW THAT ALLOWS HIM A "DO-OVER"

Satire by R J Shulman
WASHINGTON – (PTSD News) – President [sic] Bush has mentioned to several friends that, in reflecting on his presidency, he would have liked to have done some things differently. Now, thanks to a little known law, his wish may come true.

Attorney General Michael Mukasey has petitioned the court in Bush’s name to allow George W. Bush to take advantage of an obscure statute, signed into law in 1841 by President Martin Van Buren, that allows a president to get a second chance if they meet certain criteria. The law, called the American President Do-Over Act, has been invoked only once in 1923 by President Warren G. Harding. However, Harding, whose administration was tarnished by scandal and incompetence, died before a ruling by the Supreme Court.

The law, which for some unknown reason never made it into code, states that, "If in the last month of a president’s term, the president invokes the 'Do-Over Act' and can demonstrate by a preponderance of the evidence that actions taken or not taken by the president in his term falls below acceptable standard of conduct of the duties and obligations of the office of the presidency, he gets a do-over for as many years as he has served."

Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas said that will take the lead in reviewing Bush's pleading. "We installed that twerp to begin with," Thomas said, "so maybe we can redeem ourselves by giving him a change to fix the mess he has made."

When asked what he would do differently if he is granted the do-over, Bush said, "about the Iraq stuff, I would make sure that when I say mission accomplished, I would wear a larger cod piece under my uniform, and regardicating my preparation for Hurricane Katrina, I would play a different air guitar, maybe a stronger heavy metal telecoaster model, and I wouldn’t have Michael Brown be head of FEMA because I would make him Secretary of Commerce so he could do a heck of a job on foreign trade."

The Supreme Court has indicated that the inauguration of Barack Obama will be delayed until the Court resolves this matter. They said the delay could be as long as eight years.

06 December 2008

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