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GOP: HOW DARE OBAMA SPEAK AT ALL?

"It would be different, of course, if he read 'The Pet Goat' while we were under attack, or like Ronald Reagan who told them all about how bad government and taxes are."

 



Satire by R J Shulman
WASHINGTON - (PTSD News) - After a week of expressing outrage that President Barack Obama planned to speak to American school children, in an attempt to build an Obama Youth Corp in the model of Hitler Youth, Republicans have expanded this campaign to stop Obama's speeches altogether.

"No American should have to listen socialized fascist propaganda if they don't want to," said Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell. "Of course, it's too late for the traitorous liberal Democrat socialists, but what about the true patriot who is in a car when his dial breaks and he is forced to listen to that Communist Nazi?"

"Isn't Barack happy that he is not working in the fields and has become the White House Negro?" asked GOP Acting Chairman, Rush Limbaugh. "Those affirmative action people will never be satisfied."

"Those leftist liberal progressive terrorist-loving America-hating bigots will try and tell you Obama has a First Amendment right to speak," said Fox News host Glenn Beck, "but what about our First Amendment right to shout him down and our Second Amendment right to shoot him down?"

"How dare Barack Obama try to tell our children about hope and school achievement?" asked House Minority Leader John Boehner. "It would be different, of course, if he read 'The Pet Goat' while we were being attacked, or like Ronald Reagan, who told them all about how bad government and taxes are."

To quell the angry attacks about his speech, the Obama Administration has released a transcript of his entire revised script which reads, "Our children are the future."

"We think those five simple words can get bipartisan support," said a White House spokesperson. But there may still be opposition to this speech. "More lies from Obama," said Iowa Senator Chuck Grassley (R), "Our children have no future."

06 Sep 2009

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