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  NEW BOOK: PALIN WILL MAKE YOU MISS CHENEY



Satire by R J Shulman
NEW YORK – (PTSD News) – Democratic partisans cheered and laughed at their convention in Denver when New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson asked, “Will anybody miss Dick Cheney?” A new book contends that Bill Richardson's prediction could be wrong, dead wrong. James L. Wasserman, author of I Never Thought I’d Miss Richard Nixon has just written a new book called, I Never Thought I’d Miss Dick Cheney, No Never, No Way Never, No Way No How No Never.

Wasserman states that after a careful examination of Governor Sarah Palin, he says a McCain/Palin victory in November will indeed shake things up in Washington as the GOP campaign ads declare, but not in a good way. Wasserman writes, “There is a greater than 40 percent chance that due to his age and five years as a POW, McCain will not be able to complete his four year term, and that means Palin will become the most powerful person on the planet. That should make American more frightened than having to watch Britney Spears try and resurrect her career.”

Wasserman tells us, “You have no idea what she is capable of doing when she gets PMS. That’s not sexist, as PMS stands for ‘Pentecostal Mental State’ which men can get, too. Jerry Falwell suffered from it. While Cheney supposedly swore on the Bible to uphold the Constitution, Palin will swear at the Constitution while upholding the Bible, and her version of the Bible at that.” The book also states, “Like Cheney, she likes oil profits, but she likes Bible Prophets even more. And if that lawyer guy who went hunting with Cheney had gone with her, he would never have come back.”

“If she becomes President, I’ll have to leave the country,” said former Alaska State Trooper Mike Wooten, who claims Governor Palin wanted him fired because he was involved in a nasty divorce with her sister. “But I wouldn’t be safe anywhere because as President, she might hunt me down in some cave and smoke me out dead or alive.”

“I don’t agree with that nasty book about the pretty lady from the frozen state of Alabama who is running with Senator McCain,” said President Bush, “I really like that Governor Stephanie Palin because she tells the story of that old Alaskan saying or is it from Tennessee that if you put lipstick on a pig, it’s still lipstick.”

When asked if he read Wasserman’s book, Cheney said, “I was aware the book was being written. Actually, thanks to our new security procedures we have in place to protect against terrorists, I could read the book as it was being written. Actually, if you will, I am so touched to think that I could be missed, that I’d cry if I could cry, just like I’d smile if I could smile.”

07 September 2008

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