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  BOTH SIDES AGREE TO CHANGE VP DEBATE RULES, PALIN TO DEBATE CARIBOU

"I am about to blow the opponent away." --Sarah Palin



Satire by R J Shulman
ST. LOUIS – (PTSD News) – In a stunning turn of events, Joe Biden has been replaced with a caribou for Thursday’s vice presidential debate at Washington University. “The media has been absolutely unfair and cruel to Governor Palin,” said Rick Davis of the McCain campaign, “so its only fair that she gets a level playing field for this debate.”

“Finally, Sarah will get a fair shot,” a Palin spokesperson said. “We think with the new rules, this debate will be right on target.” The caribou, named Nedib, has been flown into St. Louis from Barrow, Alaska.

“America get ready for a real shootout,” Palin told a cheering crowd at an evangelical rally in Sikeston, Missouri. “I am about to blow the opponent away.” Clancy Franklin, a spokesperson for Joe Biden, said he was fine with the last minute change. “She can debate a post, for all I care,” Franklin said, “She’ll still come in second. We need Joe on the campaign trail.”

“I am going to take time from my nap to watchicate this debate,” said President [sic] Bush, “because I have looked into the eyes of the caribou and I was able to get a sense of his soul.”

The lipstick crisis has already taken its toll as Helene Curtis, a leading lipstick manufacturer on the verge of bankruptcy, has just been taken over by the federal government. “We cannot afford to have such a venerable institution like Helene Curtis fail simply because of their high exposure to selling sub-prime lipstick,” a government official said.

“This issue is not about lipstick,” Ralph Nader said, “it is about a pig being a pig, even if lipstick has been applied to that pig.”

Sally Fineburg of PETA agreed, “Pigs are in danger of being mistreated to such an extent by these politicians that they are going to become an endangered species.” Trevor Markham of the Rand Institute disagreed, “there will always be pork in Washington.”

The ABC poll said lipstick was the most important issue for Americans by more than a five-to-one margin over the economy, the war in Iraq, healthcare, the energy crisis and global warming. The poll has a margin of error of plus or minus 100 points.

01 October 2008

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