Citizens for Legitimate Government, a multi-partisan activist group established to expose the Bush Coup d'Etat and oppose the Bush occupation in all of its manifestations.

 TOP 15 POLITICAL NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS

 



Satire by R J Shulman
SANTA FE, New Mexico (PTSD News) – The Post Times Sun Dispatch has obtained an exclusive list of the private new year's resolutions of political figures and of some popular political commentators. The following is a list of each person's number one resolution for the year 2009:

1. Barack Obama – Effect change on the White House by fumigating and exorcising all evil spirits from the premises before I put my family in there.
2. John McCain – Figure out just how many houses I own.
3. Sarah Palin – Get that answer to Katie Couric about John McCain's pro-regulation record.
4. Al Gore – Continue to support the environment and pray there is still an environment at the end of the year.
5. Joe Lieberman – Try to figure out what party I am in and who's ass needs to be kissed next. (Oy vey! These lips are getting tired.)
6. Dick Cheney – Give up torture, lying and stealing… who am I kidding?
7. Scooter Libby – Get that SOB Bush and tear him limb from limb if he doesn't pardon me.
8. George W. Bush – Successfully hide from the people I had promised to pardon but didn't.
9. Rush Limbaugh – To get Barack Obama impeached for ruining the economy and lying us into costly wars and for me to be more creative.
10. Sean Hannity - To get Barack Obama impeached for ruining the economy and lying us into costly wars and for me to be more creative.
11. Matt Drudge - To get Barack Obama impeached for ruining the economy and lying us into costly wars and for me to be more creative.
(Note: This exact same resolution appeared on over 150 conservative talk show hosts' lists -- a most amazing coincidence).
12. Bill O'Reilly – Kill all the heathen bastards in the name of the Baby Jesus before they can start another war on Christmas.
13. Larry Craig – Convince the world I am not gay, so they will leave me alone long enough so I can enjoy my fabulous collection of Liza Minnelli records.
14. Dennis Miller - Try and figure out what the hell I am saying.
15. Rudy Giuliani - Try to figure out what the hell happened.

 

02 January 2009

Visit R J Shulman on MySpace

*****

To receive breaking news alerts from us, click here or the icon below.

Click here!

Email this page to a friend.

Permanent URL for this page: http://www.legitgov.org/shulman_political_resolutions_020109.html

Digg!

CLG Index

 

HOME |COUP 2004 | PRESS RELEASES | PRESS RECEIVED |IMPORTANT CALLS TO ACTION | LINKS | JOIN CLG™ | WELCOME TO CLG | CONTRIBUTE | CONTACT US

Copyright 2009, Citizens For Legitimate Government All rights reserved.