YANKEES ASK CONGRESS TO TAX A-ROD'S BONUS

"I was shocked to learn how big his bonus was." --President Barack Obama

Satire by R J Shulman
NEW YORK – (PTSD News) – Taking a cue from the recent tax imposed by Congress on AIG executive bonuses, the New York Yankees are asking Washington to impose a 90 percent tax on the bonus the Yankees paid its star third baseman, Alex Rodriguez. “It’s not fair to America’s pastime to reward such a large bonus when his numbers just haven’t come up to expectations,” said Yankees general manager Brian Cashman.

New York Democratic Senator Chuck Schumer, an early supporter of the A-Rod tax, told Congress that “it must come to the aid of the New York Yankees because they are too big to fail.”

“I was shocked to learn how big his bonus was,” said President Barack Obama,” especially when there are so many deserving underpaid minor leaguers.”

“All this talk about A-Rod’s bonus is just a distraction from the real issue,” said Senator Barbara Boxer, Democrat of California. “AIG has just spent $1.1 billion of their bailout money to have the Yankees’ new ballpark called AIG Stadium.”

The Alex Rodriguez bonus tax will be debated by the Senate on Monday and is expected to pass despite the growing opposition by crowds gathering in Washington waving signs that read, “Yankees Go Home.”

22 March 2009

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