NAMED TOP GENERAL IN WAR ON CHRISTMAS, BILL O'REILLY CALLS FOR SURGE
Every time you take a Christmas display out of a government building, the baby Jesus weeps, said Mason Tweedy of the Christmas Coalition, a group dedicated to defend against what they call the infidels of secular fascisms effort to kill Jesus again.
The people responsible for nailing our savior to the cross in holy times, Tweedy said, are the same kind of people who now want to tear him down. How hypocritical can you get?
OReilly outlined a battle plan that calls for preemptive strikes against those who he says are planning to use weapons of mass destruction against everything that is Christmas."
"So, we will 'shock and awe' those heathens first, OReilly said, then stage an invasion to rid neighborhoods of Jews, Muslims, Wiccans and anyone else who doesnt believe in the deep meaning of Christmas and in our God-given right as Americans to shove the yuletide down their throats. Where do they think they are, Godless Russia?
OReilly admitted that he is especially troubled by home-grown insurgents who are trying to convince the American people that there is a recession going on and they shouldnt spend as much this Christmas. McCain got it right, OReilly said. The fundamentals of the economy are sound and losing your job, you house and self-respect is no reason not to go whole hog and whip out your wallet to show Jesus, Joseph and Mary just how much you believe in the Christmas spirit.
09 December 2008
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