TEA BAGS HEADED FOR PROTEST CAPTURED OFF SOMALI COAST
"All in all, I think telling our followers to have a spontaneous grassroots protest was a success," said Sean Hannity.
We believe that President Obama directed the pirates to attack the ships carrying the tea bags," said Fox News Channel anchor Neil Cavuto.
We need a Congressional investigation to determine just when Obama joined the Somali pirates, former Speaker of the House, conservative author and pundit Newt Gingrich said on Fox.
A shortage of tea bags did not dampen the revolutionary spirits of some protesters. I was not going to let a shortage of tea bags stop me from expressing my personal views, said Dwayne Stump of Charlotte, North Carolina. So when Fox told us to protest, I used garbage bags. You should see all the plastic floating in the river -- enough to choke Al Gore.
I didnt like the previous bailout under Bush, said Frank Hawke, but when Fox gave us the OK to protest bailouts under Obama, thats when you can count me in.
Gail Huck of Johnson City, Tennessee said Fox told me when W was giving all that money to Halliburton it was to keep us safe from terrorists, but Fox says the money Obama is spending is to give my hard earned money, if I still had my job, of course, to welfare mothers to buy crack and Kanye West CDs. So that is why I am protesting.
When asked how it was that 99% of the protesters actually were now paying lower taxes under Obamas plan than they were under Bush, tea party spokesman and Fox News Channel host Glenn Beck said, Just like math, facts have a liberal bias. A quick survey showed that the 1% who might pay higher taxes starting in 2011 were the high paid Fox News employees and the wealthy GOP supporters who called for the protest rallies.
In some parts of the South, protesters wore hoods. We may not have had enough of them tea bags, said Harley Koonce, of Opp, Alabama, so we just used our trusty white sheets instead.
All in all, I think telling our followers to have a spontaneous grassroots protest was a success, said Fox News Channel host, Sean Hannity. It was especially effective to tell them that Obamas confiscation of those tea bags was the first step in his plan to confiscate their guns, their Bibles and all of their gay-bashing literature.
16 April 2009
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